Physician, Heal Thyself

For the six Americans diagnosed with "superior autobiographical memory," or hyperthymesia, which is the ability to recall every moment in the past with crystal clarity, including the weather or the headlines or what you wore on any given day, most memories never fade; for the rest of us, most do. But this morning, while waiting for the optometrist to arrive for the 8AM appointment I'd made solely on the promise, "You'll be my first patient of the day so I won't be late" and it was already 8:15 with no doctor in sight, I recalled a similar experience 23 years ago as if it happened yesterday.

Awaiting the birth of our first child, my husband and I were interviewing pediatricians. We were seeking one within a reasonable distance from our home who we felt would take special care of our precious baby, i.e., not kill it. That morning my husband had arranged for an hour off from work, no easy task for him back then, so we could both meet with a doctor who came highly recommended.

We arrived early and after waiting almost an hour, during which time Mitch had several conniption fits, were ushered in to see the Dalai Lama, I mean Dr. Bashian. Naturally we inquired whether, should we join his practice, we could expect him to run this late all the time. Perched behind his desk like a fat Buddha extolling advice to his followers, he answered quickly, "definitely." We then inquired whether we could call the office to see how far behind schedule things were running and adjust our arrival accordingly. The doctor answered emphatically, "No. I need you here, in the waiting room! I can't wait for people to come in....my time is far too valuable." He then explained how his time was indeed more prized than that of his patients, since there was only one of him and many of us, at which point Mitch all but climbed over the desk to grab him by the collar and pummel him about the face and neck. I stopped him, of course, something I still regret, but the doctor's arrogance had been duly noted and we chose a different physician. (After a year of that guy being late all the time, we went back to His Holiness, figuring we might as well be pissed off by the best.)

This morning my eye doctor showed up, sans apology, at 8:20. I still wonder, how do they get that way?