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I WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD when I saw "Them," the first alien bug movie to tap into our collective paranoia. Naturally I developed a fear of giant ants. All these years later, I think it's time for a remake: replace the ants with bureaucrats, call it "They," and you've got a pretty scary movie about life in America circa 2011.

Online, offline and just about everywhere in between, Big Brother is watching. These days, even Macy's department store is snooping into your life; their mail order catalogs are now tailored to your specific desires. (Just the ones they sell, of course.) By "mining the data in the records of purchases," the retailer has a better chance of capturing your cash in the future.

This development is reported in today's Wall Street Journal as if it's news, but what's so new about it? We are each tracked from birth with that teeny little thing called a Social Security Number. I remember being shocked on my 50th birthday to get an AARP membership card in the mail. Ditto on the day my son turned 18 when he received a birthday card, with a handy registration form, from the Selective Service. Funny, They seem to know everything about everyone.

I know, I know, this is the land of the free, but if you ask me, America is just like every other country: Lots of people need to be controlled lest chaos prevail. Here in the USA, They keep us off the streets with TV and movies, fast food joints and shopping malls, amusement parks and mandatory schooling from ages 4-16. I'm not complaining, since it's light years better than many alternatives. But still, let's be real: They are watching us, and I don't mean Macy's.