Shopkeeper's Lament

It's too late now, but I really should have become a psychiatrist. (Hey, my own shrink told me his problems.) People are always dumping all over me. I am talking about total strangers. Right now as I write this there is a customer nattering on about how sad she is that she moved here, seven years ago, because her husband got a new job and she hates Portland and she is very shy (gee, I hadn't noticed) and has a hard time driving in all the traffic (hah!) and misses her friends back home (it's been seven years) but again her husband is so happy even though she is not. All I want to do is say, "We'll have to pick this thread up next time; now shut up and buy something!" Is that wrong?

It is constant. They come in, walk around the store, ask how much things cost now because of course what adult can figure out how much something is after a 15% price reduction, bend my ear for twenty minutes, then tell me as they walk out the door how GREAT my store is, how much they loved everything, and how they really wanted to buy this or that, but:
1. They have no place to put it. (I have a suggestion, but it may hurt.)
2. They aren't sure if it will fit in a particular spot in their home. (Put it somewhere else.)
3. They need to check with the husband. (Like he cares.)
4. They have to wait until the next paycheck. (Then why are you out shopping?)

Finally they leave, promising to come back (who needs you) and to definitely tell all their friends about us.

Tip of the Day: Retail is not for sissies.