An Epiphany

I am thinking of all the things I have done wrong in my life, some worse than others, but the worst of all is my cat Gizmo, who I may have screwed up. He stares at me all the time. I'm talking all the time. Like right now I am lying in bed writing this and he is sitting next to me-- not curled up in a fluffy little ball like a normal cat, but sitting straight up like he has a rod inside him and staring at me. And when I open my eyes in the morning he is there, sitting and staring. I go to the bathroom and he races ahead, getting there first, so when I am on the toilet he is sitting and staring at me. When I eat breakfast--sitting and staring, rod-like.

Now I am not a veterinarian but I think I am correct in stating that this is not normal cat behavior. What has gone wrong? Did I mention he is 15, so his physical health is not a problem, he's just mentally ill. Have I done this to him?

Gizmo is the opposite of my son, another creature I raised who never sits and stares because he is never around. And I remember from when he was around that he never sits up rod-like, in fact he slouches. Besides the point, I know, but still I mention it. Anyway, my son rarely calls, never emails, barely texts. I see him hardly ever, and this in a way makes me happy while making me sad, since I know that it means he is living his life, he has flown the coop, I did a good job. It would be terrible to have him behave like the cat.

Still, if only they each were a teeny bit more like the other, including posture, that would be good.