Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Walk, Don't Run, to the Nearest Exit

Somewhere along the line I must have swallowed a hand grenade in my sleep, because I don't remember doing so but it's in there all the same. Every so often something dislodges the pin and I'm ready to explode. I know this when I get a ringing in my ears followed by a mild headache. If it lasts long enough, I check my blood pressure and sometimes it's not good. Last night it was sky-high, over the moon not good: 201/160, and holding. (Normal is 120/80.) I'm not sure, but I may be dead as I write this, which brings to mind an interesting thought: Is there wi-fi in Heaven?

Having high blood pressure that shows up uninvited and for no apparent reason is a most annoying affliction. One never knows when it will appear, or if it will get lower or just keep getting higher until you have a stroke and either A, not wake up or B, wake up clueless. Imagine, a lifetime of memories wiped out in a flash; what a waste--except for that semester of  Shakespeare and my first marriage.

Naturally, this situation sucks. Sure, we all have problems, life is difficult, blah, blah. And I know-- it could be worse. But this is my misery and besides, it's my blog. So I live each day as if it's my last, but calmly-- wouldn't want to dislodge that pin on the hand grenade. This means no sky-diving or bungee jumping or snorkeling or anything at all weird or strange or too stressful. Like that old joke, the slightest shock could kill me, so please, I ask that you not leave any disturbing comments.


  1. I am going with my theory that spikes of random high blood pressure are a good thing......good for what, we don't know at this point. Think of a time when we had no cuffs to measure these things. I bet they were common and people lived through, or because of the events......start googling. You will find the answer. Do that before you pay the doctors. Or sign up for that column in the NY TImes magazine that treats medical maladies as mysteries to be solved and then solves them.

  2. you are adorable. Hang on there.

    You are also thin.
    and sexy.
    and young!