Thursday, January 17, 2013

Everyday Melodrama

At the supermarket, there are dramas for the picking, all you have to do is keep your eyes and ears open. Like today, when I noticed a youngish woman walking around with a forlorn look, juggling two steaks, an onion and a jar of mustard. She seemed confused, and was going sort of backwards and in circles around the bananas and apples. I offered to help:

Me: Did you lose your cart?
Her: I guess so. And this is so weird, because this never happens to me.
Me: There's something you can't say anymore! (Laughing.)
Her: Well, it happened once before but I found it right away. (Wanders off.)

I went on my way and soon forgot about her because of the little old man in the pet food aisle. Apparently he couldn't reach the top shelf, and instead just stared at it, as if he could get something down from it that way, like Samantha on "Bewitched." He looked like he might cry.

Me: Can I help you reach something?
Him: Nope.
Me: Are you sure? Because you keep looking up there. (Confused, and pointing up.)
Him: Well then, two cans of Fancy Feast tuna will do me. Flaked. (Harrumphing.)

As I made my way to the checkout area about 15 minutes later, I crossed paths with the lady who had lost her cart. She still had the same exact items in her hands, and she still was walking backwards in circles.

Me: No luck?
Her: I guess someone took it. Boy, won't they be surprised when they get home.
Me: You might want to stop looking.
Her: Yes, I suppose I'll start a new cart. (Sighs.)

As I left the store, an ambulance sped into the parking lot and two EMTs jumped out and ran into the market. Thank God I missed that one.

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