Cool Whip Nation

Lately I've become addicted to desserts. Not eating them, but watching them being prepared in those highly popular Reels flooding the Internet. Rather than deleting them, I opted to get on board and see why Cool Whip figures in perhaps 75% of the recipes posted by all the virtual cooks. (Real cooks don't use it, instead they use authentic cream, like from a cow, and whip it.) 

Today I saw a video wherein two giant-sized Hershey chocolate bars were melted and combined with a large-sized container of the white stuff, then poured into a pre-made graham cracker crust and refrigerated until it hardened into a "pie."

Delving into what makes up the vomitrocious (yes, it's a real word) topping lest I have been judging it too harshly, I learned the ingredients are, in order of quantity: water, hydrogenated vegetable oil, high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, and skim milk. Alas, Cool Whip is mostly syrupy oil. In other words, "Good grief -- don't eat that!"

In order to fairly inform an unsuspecting public, the product needs a new name. I like Heart Attack Helper, sort of a play on Hamburger Helper, another popular load of processed crap. High-fructose corn syrup is about 55% fructose, a type of sugar that is harder for your body to break down than regular sugar, or glucose. Ingesting large amounts can lead to serious health issues.

Second choice: Suicide Sauce. This is more honest as hydrogenated vegetable oil can increase "bad" cholesterol (LDL) and lower "good" cholesterol (HDL), increasing the risk of heart disease. This oil is linked to various adverse health effects, including impaired blood sugar control and inflammation.

So there you have it. Eating Cool Whip is definitely not cool.
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