Frontier Airlines: Non-stop to Hell

We asked for his name, but he refused.

Yesterday my husband and I embarked on a trip to the Twilight Zone. It was not fun. 

After getting up at four in the morning for a 9:30AM flight a two-hour drive from our hotel, we skipped breakfast, assuming we'd have plenty of time for that at the airport. Wrong. Though we arrived two hours pre-flight, when we went to check in we found a scene reminiscent of the Woodstock music festival, but without the benefit of being high. 

A crowd of about 200 people filled the ticketing area, where all the computers were down and all the agents were standing around doing absolutely nothing. The free-standing kiosks allowing for self-check-in were also not working.

After an hour we reached a ticket agent in order to check our luggage, a service for which we had already paid when booking the flight. The agent was a surly, disrespectful young man whose other job must be an MS-13 gang member. (See photo.) He yelled, "Go away! You're too late! Your flight is already gone. The doors are shut, you missed it." Pointing somewhere off in the distance, he said, "Go re-book another flight."

But how could that be, since it was another 50 minutes until flight time? Being intelligent and of sound mind, unlike that clearly idiotic ticket agent, my husband suggested we run to our flight gate, bags and all, some distance away. We did so and found that boarding had not yet begun! We got on, unaware that our nightmare had.

"WHATEVER ELSE YOU DO IN LIFE, DO NOT FLY FRONTIER AIRLINES."-- Everyone who ever flew on Frontier Airlines

Once on the plane, in our tiny seats barely big enough for a Munchkin (which for extra fun did not recline), we sat there, on the ground, for the next two-and-a-half hours. For the first hour there was dead silence from the cockpit, with no explanation as to what was happening. Finally a voice on the loudspeaker announced that because of a last-minute crew change we were "waiting for a Captain to fly the plane." Oh, good, there was going to be someone flying the plane. At least that.

After another half-hour the Captain finally arrived, but then we were told that one of the two runways was closed so it would take about 20 more minutes before we could be cleared for take-off. Next we learned that we were cleared for take-off but behind many other planes, so it would be awhile. At no time did any flight attendant of any gender offer us water, coffee, tea or anything at all. They remained out of sight, I guess for fear of their lives, what with unruly passengers the norm these days.

Once airborne we were permitted to buy a bottle of water for $4.49, and some other things like cheese and crackers and almonds for an arm and a leg. Not having eaten since dinner the night before, and it was almost noon, we indulged. (The $12 Bloody Mary helped.)

Early this morning my husband received an emailed survey from Frontier asking him to rate his experience. He's still writing.