Sunday, June 19, 2022

It's Father's Dayteenth!


In our house we are celebrating Father's Day, even though it is suddenly "Juneteenth" today and tomorrow is a day off for everyone, even white folks. It means nothing to me except that the post office will be closed, which is a bummer since I'm waiting for some shoes I ordered from Zappos. 

I looked it up and learned that we are supposed to read poems by Maya Angelou and sing songs like "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" to celebrate Juneteenth. I am definitely not doing that, at least not until everyone in America sings "Had Gadya" on Passover.

Call me racist if you must, but I was never a slave, never owned slaves, never knew any slaves and never even knew anyone who knew any slaves, so it's really not much of anything for me.  My ancestors arrived here long after the practice was abolished. 

Jesus, we never even had a cleaning lady when I was growing up except for that one year when my mother hired Gertrude, a nice lady who never did any cleaning but sat around complaining about her deadbeat husband and drinking coffee with my Mom. 

Apparently the holiday is all about how the news about the slaves being freed was late getting to Texas. I have never even been to Texas. So I say Happy Father's Day! Oddly enough it's not a national holiday, since it applies to everyone who is alive or dead. Go figure.

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