Finally I found a diagnosis for what's wrong with me! I can't believe it's taken so long but at least I have it now, and it explains so much. I cannot be held responsible for my erratic behavior (which is a load off let me tell you) as it turns out I am neurodivergent. I have been this way since birth but the term was only invented five years ago and somehow nobody told me. Or maybe I was depressed that day, hiding under the bedcovers and refusing to answer the phone, so I missed it. If only I knew, so many regrets and apologies would have been moot.
Like just a few days ago I decided to start intermittent fasting to lose weight and did it for four days, eating only between the hours of noon and eight PM, but then this morning I woke up hungry, said the heck with it, and ate breakfast at 7:45 in the morning!
Another hallmark of my condition is impulsivity, causing me to say things that other people are reluctant or unwilling to say. I used to attribute this trait to "being truthful" or "direct," explaining my childlike honesty by saying, "Call me madcap!" But starting today I can proudly say, "Sorry, I'm neurodivergent." As for the personality defects, I've battled them for years to no avail. Now I see why. It has nothing to do with my traumatic childhood, it's genetic. I can't help it!
It's so much better when we can label our atrocious behavior and actually get sympathy for it. Now I can't wait for Neurodivergency Pride Day, which reminds me, this coming Saturday is Autistic Pride Day so make your plans now. It comes smack dab in the middle of Pride Month, so any LGBTQ people who are also autistic will hit the jackpot this weekend.
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