Friday, November 12, 2021

Who Can I Sue?


I'm not happy. Surely this is someone else's fault. It can't be mine; why would I do anything to make myself unhappy?

Maybe I should sue the makers of Fritos, which I ate plenty of as a teenager. My favorite dateless Friday night snack was a bag of Fritos with Lipton's Onion Soup dip. And now I am a grown-up with high blood pressure, for which I take several medications. All that salt in my youth must be the reason!

Or maybe I should sue my former neighbors, who I really liked a lot by the way, for selling their house to the creeps who live there now and causing us no end of heartache and petty annoyances. They should at least pay the $12,000 for the fence we erected between the two properties to hide the ungodly mess of junk and cars now littering the formerly pristine landscape.

Sounds silly, right. Just as silly as the attendees of the Texas Astroworld fiasco who are blaming the concert organizers for the drug-infused unruly crowd behavior that resulted in nine people getting trampled to death. They say the organizers "suffocated" them! The venue was "too packed" even though it was built to hold four times as many as those present. The singer Travis Scott is being sued for being too popular and having too many fans, I'm guessing? After all, he continued to perform his part of the bargain, having no idea what was going on in the audience.

Or maybe I (and everyone) could just take some responsibility for my own life and actions. Now there's an outdated concept.





 


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