I'm Straight and Queer

  

Interchangeable parts are so Mr. Potato Head.

Hey, all you LGBTQ people, leave the English language alone already, wouldja? You already took away "gay," which used to mean happy and now it means having sex with someone with the same genitalia as you, a far different meaning you would have to agree. 

Then you took away "queer," meaning strange or odd, which is how I feel every day of my life when I wake up and look at the world now. So I'm queer but straight. I only have sex with men -- real men, not ones manufactured through hormones and surgery. And being married I only have sex with one man, but he's got the right stuff, if you know what I mean.

Next, and most baffling, "they" now can mean one person, even though we were all taught that "they" always refers to more than one. But I guess there are some people who think there are more than one of themselves since they have both a beard and a vagina, or whatever parts they have chosen. A whole class of people are now self-created, like Mr. Potato Heads.

I feel empowered to write this because last night I watched the latest Dave Chappelle special on Netflix, called The Closer. It's a riot, unless you have decided to become transgender and then you might be offended. Dave lets it rip on the whole God-got-it-wrong-so-change-your-gender movement, and the live audience he's performing in front of laps it up. Dave gets away with saying things that many other people are thinking but would get beat up for saying out loud. 

All of the aforementioned makes me feel queer. Like I need a dose of Pesto-Bismol just to read the paper or watch the news. Whatever happened to Normal America?