Bernie the Mensch

If you were a poor student in school and have few options available, you're in luck. You can either join the military and get an education, possibly learn a trade, receive all the health care you need, with plenty of food and a place to sleep, and with laundry service. Of course your legs might get blown off in a foreign country; there's that. If you'd rather play it safe you can become a sloppy criminal and get yourself caught. Then you'll also get three square meals a day, lots of exercise, health care including dental and surgery if required, and all the drugs you want. And in prison, while it's true your legs could get broken by a rival gang member, they likely won't get blown off.

Best of all, if Bernie Sanders wins the next election, which he just might, in prison you'll be able to vote in the presidential election or any election in your district, even if you are a convicted felon. What if you murdered or raped someone, or killed a whole lot of people with a bomb? No problem, says Bernie, who advocates prisoners be allowed to the vote even while they're doing time. After all, nobody should feel disenfranchised, especially if you are a person of color, which you might be since they are four times as likely as whites to be incarcerated.

Bernie believes that every citizen --  even deranged psychopaths -- should have a say in who runs our government. (Such a mensch!) Is this a great country or what? No wonder all those immigrants want in.