The Ugly Truth About Brett Kavanaugh

Women running from Kavanaugh's clutches may have looked something like this.

I have it on good authority -- sorry, I simply can't name names -- that when Brett Kavanaugh was a young man he sucked on his mother's nipples on a regular basis! Okay, he was a very young man -- a baby, really -- but still -- is that the kind of person we want making decisions about women's bodies? Even worse, after he was finally broken of that repulsive habit he developed a drinking problem and was rarely seen in public without a bottle, either in his hand or within easy reach.

As he grew he began a pattern of torturing women and is alleged to have pulled the braids of a girl sitting in front of him in math class. Another time, according to several witnesses who have requested anonymity, Kavanaugh touched and grabbed at a woman (she was a girl back then) who was desperately trying to avoid his clutches. A few people have stated that this behavior was often repeated, usually while playing tag during recess.

Surely we can all agree that Kavanaugh's long history of abuse towards women makes him unfit for almost anything, let alone sitting on the highest court in the land. Be sure to check back here tomorrow for the inside story on Justice Elena Kagan's eating disorder, a clear indicator that she lacks proper judgment and self-control.