Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Grab a Stone and Throw It

Okay, it's that time of year and Brett Kavanaugh is "It." Just find a stone, pick it up and toss it, preferably at his head. The goal is to beat him to a pulp, which the media and many Democrats are already doing. The job is almost done, but just a few more willing accomplices need to come forward to finish him off.

So far we have two women who admit they were so drunk that they can't remember anything, but they know for sure he sexually assaulted them at a party. (Don't ask what party.) Then there's a woman who says he wrote something offensive about her in his high-school yearbook alluding to the fact that she was slutty and slept with everyone. (How rude!) Next up, a former Yale roommate who says although they were not friends, he remembers that Kavanaugh "drank heavily."

Bringing up the rear is porn star Stormy Daniels' lawyer Michael Avenatti who claims he's about to  hurl a bombshell detailing how Kavanaugh participated in a "gang-raping train" of boys at a college party! Wow, that's the best one yet. (Funny that didn't come to light when the FBI vetted Kavanaugh so thoroughly a few months ago. I guess all the girls who were raped were too drunk to remember.)

So go ahead and make up one of your own. For example, my cousin who taught at Yale mentioned one Passover when he and I got drunk together on all those glasses of wine at the seder that some of the male students "got out of hand sometimes." I can't be sure because as I said I was drunk but I think he may have said "Kavanaugh." (Or else he was coughing on a matzoh ball.) Anyway, that's my stone and I'm tossing it. Now I gotta go call Ronan Farrow.

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