My husband has an identical twin brother who has three children. Through marriage, they are my niece and nephews. Starting when the oldest, now 37, was just a baby, I was a doting aunt. Then two more came along, and I was even more doting, meaning that at Christmas, birthdays and Easter I would shower the kids with love and affection, and of course gifts.
Since I have only one child -- a son-- and we are Jewish, Christmas shopping for my only nephews and niece, who despite their Jewish father were raised Catholic by their mother, was a blast. Money was no object. I started in October and spent countless hours wrapping their gifts, then shipping them off to Maine from my home in Washington, DC. Eventually we moved here and I could present their gifts in person. It was fun for me and for them.
But it wasn't just gifts. They loved my cooking, especially my apple pie. I drove one of them to horseback riding lessons every week. I gave wise counsel when asked. I cared about them.
Fast-forward to today. I honestly cannot remember the last time I laid eyes on any of them, or spoke with them on the phone. Fifteen years, maybe? No texts, no emails, nothing. They all live far away but even when I hear that they are in town for a visit, none of them get in touch. Are they married? Are they happy? Did the girl transition or is she just a pronoun-touting lesbian who works in construction? I have no idea, as I no longer communicate with their mother and their father barely mentions them.
If I could live my life over again, I wouldn't do any of that.
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