Film Review: HAIL, CAESAR!

Hail, Caesar! sucks so much that if we are all very quiet, I suspect we can hear it sucking. But in all fairness, I walked out of this movie after one hour so it might have gotten better in the last 46 minutes. I cannot remember ever walking out on a movie; it's got to be really bad for me to do that. Unsure of taking such a bold step unilaterally, I turned to ask my companion if we should leave but found that she was asleep. Hers was the deciding vote.

Here's what you need to know:
1. Josh Brolin, the star, is a better actor than his father but not by much.
2. Yes, it's the Coen Brothers, but even brilliant directors make mistakes.
3. Unless it was done on purpose, George Clooney is no longer hot.
4. Scarlett Johansson does not do herself any favors.

Available only at Cabela's.

The story is about movie-making and there are lots of inside jokes about movie-making, which of course I didn't get and you won't either because we don't make movies. And to be honest, the plot is so convoluted and stupid and punctuated never by anything even resembling interesting that I cannot say more. In fact, the only memorable thing about this film is that I left my favorite black woolen hat in the lobby (see photo). I discovered that grim fact once I had gotten to the theater's parking lot but I just couldn't go back.