In My Next Life

If I could start my life over and make any changes I wanted, one thing that I would eliminate for sure is Bruce Jenner. What a dope! And while it's certainly his right to be a dope, why does he have to be one in my face? I do dopey things all the time, but I do them in private and pray that nobody sees me or finds out. But Bruce is openly dopey, and now his stupid man-face trying to look girlish with long hair and silly red lips is going to be on the cover of Vanity Fair this summer! Not that I ever read Vanity Fair, but I'm sure I'll see it since I live and breathe, and also our housemate at our vacation home has a subscription and it's always on the coffee table when we get there.

So stupid Bruce, the former Olympic jock and ladies' man who did not like his God-given gender and is going about the tawdry business of prettying himself up, would be MIA in my next life. And he can take his moronic and embarrassing family with him.