Miley Cyrus is No Desi Arnaz

Desi Arnaz, a.k.a. Ricky Ricardo

I was going to let it pass, especially since I didn't see it. But today's Wall Street Journal has an op-ed thing about it, giving it gravitas, and so I feel compelled to weigh in on the whole "Miley Cyrus thing," which until now I've heard about and read about and seen on the news and tried to ignore but have failed.

Here is what I know: former child star Miley Cyrus has a vagina. She also has breasts, albeit teeny ones, and a tongue somewhat bigger than those breasts. She has always had them but now, being 20 years old, she understands that those regulation body parts are more valuable. In fact, she apparently thinks they make her pretty special, which is silly since every living woman is born with them, but still Miley decided to showcase hers on TV at some music awards show a few nights ago. This may have been a desperate attempt to deflect attention from her singing or dancing or whatever is her "talent." While she didn't actually exhibit her naked vagina, she did indicate she had one inside her skimpy outfit and hinted that she knew what things might fit inside it, and so her act has been deemed "disgusting" and "lewd" and "lascivious" and "shocking" by a parade of incensed journalists and critics. And now I am just one more in the line of people gossiping about her, making her richer and more popular and more likely to do all that stuff more often.

In the interest of full disclosure I should say that I've never heard or seen Miley perform; all I know is that she is the daughter of a country singer named Billy Ray Cyrus who I also have never heard or seen perform. What I'm wondering is if she has a mommy, because if she does, that's who has some "s'plaining to do," as Ricky Ricardo would say. I loved Ricky Ricardo, and he never once took his clothes off or did anything remotely tacky or gross or demeaning, at least not in public, but still he was a pretty sexy guy.