Ever since my recent visit to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I have been preoccupied with and fascinated by the Amish lifestyle. Were it not for a couple of sticking points, I would join the nearest community of these self-sufficient rejecters of modern culture. Proclaiming themselves as being in the world but not of the world, an idea they apparently lifted from Jesus Christ, they live as if in another century--one without Lady Gaga-- a concept I find quite appealing.
The Amish culture endorses many fine practices, but none is more intriguing than the election of leaders. This is done by "divine appointment," which comes down to little more than choosing straws. Not literally; instead, they write down a hymn on a piece of paper, slide it inside a prayer book, then randomly distribute the books among the nominated candidates. The one who finds the piece of paper inside his book is then declared the Leader, for life!
Imagine: No back-room deals! No campaign finance reforms, since there's no campaign! No millions spent on TV ads, because of no TV! No Sarah Palin or Michele Bachmann with their 4-inch heels and dangly earrings and French manicures, since no women can be nominated! And best of all, there'd be no grumbling or complaining from the critical masses about hanging chads or voter fraud or lack of experience or past infractions or did he inhale or exactly where was he born anyway, because God picked the winner--Hallelujah!
Naturally, there would also be no Bill O'Reilly or Sean Hannity or Rush Limbaugh or the dumb clucks at CNN or on "Meet the Press" or "Face the Nation," or any of the glamor gals and guys so busy feasting on our political system. Journalists would be all but eliminated and turn into functioning members of society. And without the constant grumbling about our politicians, we would all have much more free time--for barn-raising, growing our own food and raising our own kids, who all would stop going to school after the 8th grade, so no more high school! Were it not for those damn outfits they all have to wear and those horrible hair nets on all the women, I'd do it.
The good thing about the women's attire is that you don't have to worry about what matches. It is black, brown, or navy blue. Don't have to spend $100s of dollars coloring your hair or getting it cut only do do it again in another 4 weeks. My only issue is having a man tell me what to do. Other than that, I am game.
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