Why, Katie, Why?

The world needs something new to do besides making wars and watching movies, and I'm racking my brain but cannot seem to come up with anything. It might have to do with keeping people healthy or making more art or doing away with lawyers and letting people solve their differences themselves. I don't know what it is, which is why I'm not rich or famous, but I do know for sure that it's not another daytime TV talk show.

The latest scuttlebutt is that Katie Couric, fired for getting older from her news anchoring job, will host a daytime TV talk show. This fact bewilders me. So many questions come to mind, all whittled down to one: Why? Especially since there are so many already. What's left to talk about that Ellen and Oprah and Phil and Bill and Rachel and Whoopie and Babs haven't already said a million times? And who will say it, besides of course all those familiar book-toting, self-promoting actors and actresses who go on everyone else's shows too?

If I were fabulously wealthy, as Katie surely is by now, I would travel the world, or at least go to Yellowstone once more before it blows up.  I might buy an island and stay put for a few years, reading all the Great Books or maybe writing one, never leaving home until I ran out of something critical, which in my case would be blood pressure medication, red wine, coffee or Rolos.  I might work on adding something of value to the world, like opening free pet daycare centers in every neighborhood for all the dogs and cats stuck with two working parents who spend their days locked up inside empty homes--the dogs and cats, not the parents. I might build walk-in medical clinics and art schools and farm stands in ghetto areas. I might try a lot of things....anything but another daytime TV talk show.