Friday, February 8, 2013

Upping the Anxiety

What about Frosty?
As I write this, a winter wonderland is unfolding outside my window. It's lovely, all but eradicating the remaining pain from my cat's recent execution and another body-bruising Zumba class. But according to all reports, this storm is neither lovely nor wonderful. Instead, it's a DANGEROUS, CRIPPLING BLIZZARD! Various WATCHES and WARNINGS have been issued! POWERFUL WIND GUSTS are expected to cause WIDESPREAD POWER OUTAGES! Oy. Can't I just enjoy a nice, old-fashioned picturesque, snow-shoeing New England snowstorm with many cups of cocoa and a snowman or two, like I dreamed of having as a child growing up in New York?

Snowstorms bring out the worst in meteorologists, each one trying to top the other in the hysteria department. If it were not so anxiety-producing, at least in those who are anxiety-prone, it would be funny. Surely we have enough anxiety producers in the news, what with drones, mass shootings, terrorists, disease, widespread war and the end of cursive being taught in our schools. A fluffy little snowstorm is kind of a relief.

Even zanier are all the locals rushing out to buy things they need--like snow shovels. What the---you live in New England, it's already February, and you don't have a snow shovel? How is that possible? Do they buy disposable shovels and toss them out every April? I read a quote from a woman online saying she needs a new one because "my last one broke." Last one? We usually have six or seven on hand, having brought three when we arrived, finding three in the garage left here by the former owners, and buying a new one just for fun. (Last month we gave one to our friend Dave, but he's only 25 and living in his first real house, so you can understand.) Then there's the whole bread, milk and toilet paper thing, which people "stock up on" in a storm. God knows what they do with that combo. I guess eating a lot of bread and drinking a lot of milk at the same time, while it's snowing, makes you need to go to the bathroom. One hopes they have a toilet plunger on hand.


2 comments:

  1. at least where YOU live, if the power goes out you can build a fire in your fireplace (you have a woodburning stove, right?). Mine is laid and ready to light but our air quality is SO bad it is not allowed. My Maggie is really sick because of our poison air......adenoid virus and her eyes are gunked shut this morning......

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  2. very very funny!

    all through . . . like who are these people without shovels?

    but really, ya gotta turn the TV off . . . or see at for the bufoonery it is. If the National Enquirer headline said dangerous snowstorm a-coming, how would you react?

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