Oscar's Downward Spiral

Ben Affleck, winner and Jack Nicholson, loser.

I know that anyone who reads my blog, and that's not many of you, did not sit up late into the evening watching the Oscars award show. Lucky. Here's what you missed of import:

Our political system is now a complete and total joke. Hollywood actually is in bed with Washington, and the proof was in the evening's Grand Finale: The First Lady of the United States was beamed into the Hall of Vultures to announce the Best Picture award. Michelle Obama was actually back home in the White House, surrounded by American flags and soldiers and Secret Service, as if this moment ACTUALLY MATTERED and was of NATIONAL IMPORT!!!!!! She said some stuff about how the nominated movies were blah, blah, blah and the winner was whatever, whatever. All dolled up in a wig and a fancy dress and lots of jewelry--I guess they call it "bling"--it seemed like she was up for an award herself, playing the First Lady in a movie called "America's Royal Family: The Low and the Mighty." Not sure why Barack did not come out doing an old soft shoe; that would have been the topper!

You also missed a new girl named Jennifer Lawrence falling on the stairs when she got caught up in the drapes she was wearing as she rushed up to retrieve the award for Best Actress. That was indeed a highlight, and maybe the only one, and much more memorable than her performance in the movie she won it for. No matter; now that she won an Oscar for Best Actress, you'll never see her again.

Jack Nicholson, who was dragged onstage to introduce Mrs. Obama, looked even older and fatter and drunker and more grotesque than your wildest dreams of him. And now he wears thick Coke-bottle glasses too, completing his clown costume.  At least ARGO was named Best Picture. Go see it.