Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Hillary Talks! But It'll Cost You.....

What's she eating? Find out for sure!
The news that Hillary Clinton has decided on her next career move will surely impact all our lives. I know that I have been holding my breath for months wondering just what that zany lady has in store for us. Yesterday we all learned that following her stint as Secretary of State, the always altruistic and self-sacrificing former First Lady has decided to join a big PR firm and start giving paid speeches as her way of contributing to her personal bank account---oops, I mean society. The word on the street is that she can expect to earn $250,000 per speech, and maybe even a million dollars each overseas!

At those prices, I'm betting there will be some valuable inside information and plenty of juicy details. If you're anything like me, you'll start a special savings account so you can afford to attend one of Hillary's speeches. I'd certainly pay good money to hear her candid take on any of the following topics:

Dead Vince Foster: Why I Had to Clean Out My Office So Fast
Bill and Me, and Monica Makes Three: The White House Years
Botox vs. Reloxin: Pros and Cons 
Why I Always Wear the Pants in the Family
All About My "Concussion" 
Capitol Hill Capers: How to Fix Those Droopy Eyes Overnight
New York's Best Plastic Surgeons 
Surviving Washington: D.C.'s Best Pizza, Reuben, Bloody Mary and more...
How She Does It: Nancy Pelosi's Daily Diet & Exercise Regimen 
Undoing Michelle: My Plans for Redecorating the White House
Benghazi: Dead is Dead, Who Cares How it Happened? 
Fashion Secrets: Sarah Palin Doesn't Really Need Glasses
Travel is So Broadening: Chowing Down & Porking Up as Secretary of State 
The Truth About "Aunt" Harry Reid's Transgender Surgery
Barack Obama: The Man Inside the Puppet
Don't Tell Laura: My Secret Crush

1 comment:

  1. PERFECTLY stated.Brilliant. in other words enjoyably hilarious