Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Fifty Shades of Small Town Vampire Sex

I am thinking of writing a best seller. Not a book, but a best seller. There is a difference. So this morning I studied the Best Seller list in last Sunday's New York Times Book Review. I may have a plot.

It will be a novel about a woman living in San Francisco who goes back to her small hometown in New England after her husband of many years---not sure yet, will have to work that one out--is killed in a car crash on a curvy mountain road after he had gone out to get some ice-cream to satisfy her cravings, since she was pregnant. Okay, so they were a youngish couple if she was pregnant, so maybe they got married at 21 and now she's 36. Okay. Yes. So she's 36 and pregnant and has her baby all alone and then goes back to her small hometown where her parents live, and her father has Alzheimer's, that is definite. Maybe it's her mother, we'll see. And the husband might not die right away but linger for about ten pages in a coma, which will be very sad and tear-jerky.

So then Amelia, or maybe it's Amelai--more interesting, and sort of French--moves in with her parents and runs into her old high-school boyfriend who now is the doctor taking care of her father--or mother. Of course he is also single, his wife having died a year ago after a mysterious and sudden illness. His name is either Robert or John, possibly Robert John, which would be interesting and quirky. He is very handsome, and might be either African-American or paraplegic, possibly both.

After a few pages of flirting, they have wild sex for most of the book. Amelia or Amelai's mother (or father) dies. The baby gets older and fatter. At one point the couple breaks up when she suspects that he actually may have killed his wife. She hires a private detective. (This piece of the plot is quite exciting. I won't divulge the ending, but I will remind you that they have wild sex for most of the book and someone has Alzheimer's and it's set in a small New England town where people are shocked at their behavior. The child, a girl named Henrietta, has grown obese and is bullied and has special powers, and may possibly be a vampire, but more on her in the sequel.

1 comment:

  1. sounds good, except you should make it so that everyone in the town is now a vampire. or maybe the whole nation.