President Trump eats hyperbole for breakfast. Everything he does, every move he makes, every thought he utters is the most it's ever been done in the history of our country, or possibly the world.
Around the time of the Academy Awards, every movie made is the best movie of the year, or in some cases, ever. They are all must-sees.
Average, run-of-the-mill restaurants have the best salad bar, serve the biggest steaks, make the world's greatest cheesecake.
Every pizza ever baked is the best in the city! (Or the state, or the country or the world.)
Ordinary people, like your friends and family, say they had the time of their life doing regular, everyday things: Their trip to Disney was incredible! Their weekend at the beach was awesome! They had the time of their life going bowling.
Every single person on the planet has the most adorable grandchildren! They are the smartest, the cutest, the most amazing children who ever were born, anywhere.
Every book jacket proclaims that if you read one book this year, it has to be this one, it's life-changing!
Everybody loves everything. Except for when they hate it, and it's the absolute worst thing they ever saw, or did, or ate.
Everyone is the most handsome, the prettiest, the sexiest, the smartest, or else the fattest or the dumbest person anyone ever met in their entire life.
I could smother you with kisses. Or else I could kill you.
I'm telling you, it's terrifying. I can't stand it for another second.
No comments:
Post a Comment