How Much Do You Matter?

An article in today's Wall Street Journal shines a light on the darkest corner of retirement. It's called "mattering," meaning being seen by others as adding value and worth to society. "Sustaining a sense of mattering has become a defining challenge of aging," the author explains. Apparently the loss of this feeling is responsible for most of the depression experienced by retired seniors, which is widespread and growing. 

I have not mattered to society for so many years, I can hardly remember the last time. What I do remember clearly is my conversation with a young woman almost 15 years ago when I was volunteering at Portland Museum of Art here in Maine. A blizzard had been predicted for the next day I was due for my twice-a-week shift at the museum. I told the volunteer manager that I hated driving in snow and thus might not show up since I lived a half-hour's drive away, but that I would call that morning if I wasn't able to come in. Her response was swift and cutting: "Oh, no problem -- you never have to let us know if you're coming in, it doesn't matter."  

Naturally, I never went back. Since then I have taken more than a dozen volunteer positions, bearing in mind each time that whether I showed up or not didn't matter to anyone other than my pets, who of course preferred me to stay at home with them and see to all their needs. 

Sadly, older people don't matter much except to their children, especially those with kids of their own who rely on them as babysitters. Since I have no grandchildren and I'm down to one cat, my life has less value than ever before. Fortunately I'm an excellent cook, so my husband values me quite highly. Other than him, I could probably vanish into thin air and nobody would notice.

How about you? Do you still matter?