Antique Stereotypes

Here in Maine, wokeism is alive and well. So much so that it's made the national news. Yup, sleepy little Maine has hit the big time, with Governor Janet Mills hissing to POTUS on the TV news, "See you in court," over a transgender teen who invaded a local girl's pole-vaulting team and caused a ruckus. But that's a whole other story.

Today's story, told in pictures, is that despite the overwhelming and cacophonous influence of the liberal left, a shopping expedition to one of Maine's ubiquitous tourist magnets revealed that ethnic cleansing has not been accomplished on the shelves of our quaint antiques stores. They better do it by summer when all the people come. 

Beware: Fat Rant

Happy fat ladies who binge on cookies and ice cream and chips and dip in private.

Okay -- so you're fat and you don't care, you love yourself anyway. Congrats! You are so lucky, since all the fat people I have ever known have been steeped in self-loathing. I say more power to you -- go out and get yourself a new bag of Oreos.

Here's my gripe: Fat women in bikinis, or worse, their underwear, posting their photos all over the Internet, and commenters writing things like,"You look fabulous!" and "You go girl!" and "You are beautiful!" for reasons I don't understand. Nobody fat looks fabulous, and everyone knows it.

"Fat acceptance" is a ridiculous concept. Fat people are addicts. Do we congratulate heroin addicts, or alcoholics, applauding their self-destructive behavior to spare their feelings? No, of course not. 

Too Smart To Be Rich

Despite not understanding why football is such a big deal, I have always been smart, even as a kid. I'm not boasting, it's just a fact. So I have always wondered why I seem unable to make much money, being so smart. But now I know: you have to be dumb and incompetent but have rich parents to make it big in America. 

Take Elon Musk, who according to Rep. Alexandria-Ocasio Cortez is really dumb. And all the Democrats online constantly call him an incompetent nutcase. Many others point to the fact that he was born into a prominent family so he had everything given to him, a circumstance that led to his success despite him being such an idiot. 

I guess Elon must be really dumb, to have been elected a Fellow of the Royal Society (2018), listed among the Time 100 Most Influential People in the World (2010, 2013, 2018 and 2021), and ranked joint-first on the Forbes list of the "Most Innovative Leaders " (2019). 

If you can stand hearing more, in 2021, Time named that stupid idiot "Person of the Year." His clear incompetence led to him to become a business magnate and technologist recognized for his design and engineering work on Tesla vehicles and SpaceX rockets, and his efforts to combat global warming. 

The silly dummy has received several environmentalist awards, including the National Wildlife Federation's Connie Award and a Global Green award. All of that has made the crass bigmouth father of 14, who is on the spectrum, the richest person in the world worth $419.4 billion.

Meanwhile, I've got bupkis. Thankfully, I'm smart.

As He Lay Dying

I certainly hope if I manage to reach the age of 95 and fall inside my house and can't get up or reach a phone, that someone will miss me enough to call the police and ask them to check on me sooner than in ten days. Like any one of my three adult children, if had that many, for example. 

That abysmal situation apparently occurred in the recent death of one-time Oscar-winning actor Gene Hackman, who allegedly lay dead in his home for more than a week before being discovered. The grim truth is that despite his fame and fortune, he mattered to almost nobody in his dotage except perhaps his wife. Sadly she, a spring chicken at age 63, was dead too -- also for that long. 

The bottom line: Don't count on friends and family for much besides a ride to the airport. If you ask me, every one of us should wear one of those Life Alert things to summon a stranger paid to come to your aid. (Money talks.)