Monday, December 11, 2023

If You're A Robot, Don't Call Me

I woke up feeling suicidal and not in the mood for my dental cleaning scheduled for 1 pm today. The dentist's office being a 30-minute drive away, I'd have to stay focused long enough to get there and then keep my mouth open for 45 minutes. No way I was up for that unless I was shoving a Nathan's All-Beef Kosher hot dog into it, on a bun with mustard and sauerkraut.

Wondering how long I'd have to wait for another appointment if I skipped today, I called the office. Naturally a recording answered, even though this particular office charges so much for their services they could afford a uniformed staff of ten with nothing to do but answer phone calls. But no, it was a robot asking me to leave a message, which I did.

After half an hour with no call back, I tried again and this time got a human being, or a better-sounding robot claiming to be Nicole. She said I was not on the schedule for a cleaning, or anything, today. "That's crazy," I said, "since I have gotten two reminder emails, one text and two phone calls over the last three weeks asking me to confirm. Which I did each time, and by the way that's pretty annoying."

Nicole didn't know much -- her words not mine -- but she was certain I had no appointment for today. The next opening would be December 27th. I said I'll be there unless my teeth fall out first.

I will tell you this: they can call, e-mail and text all they want, I will not confirm that appointment unless a living, breathing person asks me to. I am done with robots. They think they're so smart but they're not.

Anyway, my suicidal mood only got worse after that.

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