Who Can I Sue?

Nothing out of the ordinary has happened to me lately, and I'm wondering who's responsible for that. Certainly not me. I'm considering hiring a lawyer and suing somebody for millions of dollars, as soon as I can figure out who. The list of possible defendants is short.

First there is the inept orthopedic surgeon ( and his entire practice) I saw last week who was no help at all. In fact he did damage as I had to drive to his office, which required taking a very long detour during the morning commute because of road work being done on the Interstate, quite early in the morning. That cut short my beauty sleep so I was bedraggled for the rest of the day. This caused me to lose some lucrative hours of work on my latest painting that might have sold by now if I had felt well enough to finish it. Who knows. 

The aforementioned surgeon added nothing to what I already knew. I left his office still hurting and unable to run in the recent Boston Marathon or go bungee jumping, two things I had pinned my hopes on doing that would have spiced up my boring life. 

Or I could sue my brother-in-law, who has deep pockets let me tell you, for having a bike accident 13 years ago that caused us to move to Maine to help with his recovery and leave my lucrative career writing for The Washington Post, not to mention my interesting and sophisticated friends and all the great music and theater, to live in this backwater town with nothing going on ever. Hence my boring life.

Lastly, I could sue that Orlando amusement park where the 14-year-old boy fell off the ride recently for adding to my debilitating anger and depression that his parents didn't think it unwise for their 340-pound son to go on a ride with a weight limit of 250 pounds. Naturally the bereaved couple is suing the amusement park and the ride's manufacturer, leaving no money for me by the time I file my papers.

There must be somebody.....