President Grampa Stays Up Late

Ted Cruz giving Biden his full attention.

In case you missed Biden's speech to Congress last night (perhaps you were busy cleaning the toilets or changing the cat litter or hand washing your underwear -- all things of greater import), I, with nothing else to do and with a husband who insists on keeping up with such things in order to do battle on Facebook the next day, sat through it and will give you the highlights, although full disclosure commands me to admit to playing Words With Friends the whole time and so I only heard it, looking up rarely but luckily in time to see Ted Cruz napping (see photo).

1. Despite the fact that all the people in the room had been vaccinated long ago, and only half the usual suspects were in evidence and spread out a la social distancing, all present wore masks. (What dummies! Haven't they heard the latests CDC guidelines?) No handshaking allowed, instead fist bumps were everywhere so I guess your knuckles can't get Covid.

2. In a display of bravado, Biden took his mask off to give the speech. He looks better with it on.

3. He mentioned the approaching anniversary of the death of George Floyd, a lifelong criminal who became a national hero because he was killed by a cop. Hope this isn't going to become a national holiday!

4. The only reference Biden made to the growing race war in America was his avowal to get rid of all the white supremacists. No telling how, but if you are white I'd lay low.

5. Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi were called out by Biden for being females in such high office. As proof of their equality, both wore pants to the auspicious occasion. Veep Harris could be seen cackling, as usual, behind her mask several times. I wonder, does she listen to comedy podcasts through tiny earbuds all day long?

6. First Lady Jill Biden, with nothing to prove, wore a dress. Actually it was quite pretty.

7. Maxine Waters was there and is, deplorably, still alive. Happily there was no sign of AOC, or the one with the turban, or the other one with the big mouth.

8. Joe said everything will be free for everyone and the rich people will pay for all of it.