Fake Bumper Stickers

The bumper stickers on all the cars say "Virginia is for Lovers," but it's hard to feel that when you're there. I am there, and just yesterday my husband and I came in contact with several of the natives and none of them were at all loving, at least not towards us.

We were driving on a stretch of unfamiliar road that was very curvy, and if you were hoping to avoid crashing into an oncoming car suddenly cresting over a hill or appearing around a blind curve, you took it easy. At least if you were from out of town. Which we are. So we were going slightly below the posted limit of 55, and a chain of cars trailed behind us, itching to pass but unable to because of the double yellow line. A light drizzle was falling. Every so often we would pull over and let them all by, but soon enough a new chain would develop.

For about the fourth time we pulled over, and about seven cars whizzed by. Then a pickup truck came out of nowhere, pulled up right next to us, and the bearded and bandana-wearing driver rolled down his window and fairly screamed, "It's 55! You were were holding up all those people, asshole!"

Mitch responded by saying, "That's why I pulled over, to let them pass. I'm scared to drive fast on this road, I don't know it like you do." The Virginian responded by sticking his middle finger in the air, shouted, "Fuck you!" and tore off, gravel flying everywhere. Among several others was that loving bumper sticker.

I was just happy he hadn't shot us.