Internet Brain Rot

For a multitude of reasons I simply could not sleep any longer and finally got out of bed shortly before five this morning. It was dark outside, which meant there might still be monsters out there so I decided not to go for a walk. There was the cat to feed and the coffee to make, but after that I could have done anything. I could have, for example, started a new painting or read a few pages in one of the books piled up next to my bed. I could have cleaned out the refrigerator, or at the very least tossed out that cheddar cheese we've had in there for a month that tastes like soap. I didn't do any of those things. Instead I went online and learned the following:

Actor Ben Stiller had prostate cancer two years ago but kept it a secret and is fine now.

Ivanka Trump wears a different outfit to work every day. Her favorite designer is Oscar de la Renta, despite the fact that he died a couple of years ago. (His name lives on.)

People between the ages of 18 and 24 are no longer searching for breast-related material on several porn sites, which is one reason why many branches of the Hooters restaurant chain are closing. However, breasts are still popular among porn users between the ages of 54 and 65, who may or may not still go to Hooters.

If you want to lose weight in a hurry you should increase your exercise and cut your calorie intake.

One cause of unpopularity is "being slovenly." Oddly enough, another cause listed in the same article is "being too polished." Apparently it's a delicate balance.

Hawaii has the fewest people collecting disability payments from the government. West Virginia has the most.

Fortunately the sun came up, freeing me to go outside and retrieve my Sunday New York Times from the end of the driveway and start the crossword puzzle while I still had some functioning brain cells.