Getting Your Lard On

So my Jewish Granny had it right all along: Bacon really is bad for me.

According to an announcement released yesterday by the twenty-two scientists at the World Health Organization, bacon, hot dogs and other processed meats greatly increase your risk of cancer, just as much as smoking and breathing diesel-engine exhaust. Naturally the news has been met with dismay by all those who earn their living from hawking dead pig meat and other sorts of red meat as well. But they needn't fear since America loves its bacon, and I'm betting the possibility of contracting cancer would be considered a small price to pay for continued enjoyment of the following foods:

BLT sandwich

bacon pizza

bacon and eggs

bacon wrapped fried Oreos

bacon burgers

PB and bacon sandwich

bacon pancakes

bacon chocolate-chip cookies

bacon jam

bacon quiche

Besides the obvious and ordinary foods listed above, lately clever chefs have been sneaking bacon into all sorts of things disguised as "lardons." The formerly healthy Brussels sprout is typically served laden with these little fried devils. And my favorite salad at a local restaurant, an iceberg lettuce chopped wedge with tomatoes, radishes, onions, cukes and a hard-boiled egg, which seems healthy enough at first glance, is now loaded with lardons. Just what are these, I wondered, scarfing them down as fast as I could without choking. Turns out it's the French term for small, matchstick-cut pieces of bacon.  

Mon dieu and oy vey!