Sunday, September 20, 2015

16 Reasons to Hate Me: Go Ahead, Pick One




Whoever is attached to this foot is an idiot.

This morning I awoke to find that my brother-in-law, who is my husband's identical twin, called both me and my husband STUPID for having voted Republican in the past. This insult appeared on Facebook. What he really said was "STUPID REPUBLICANS" when talking about some candidate or other running for Clown-in-Chief. Nevertheless, since we are or at least have been in the past part of that group, I identified with the slur.

I found his use of the word both offensive and odd. After all, there are so many other reasons to declare me stupid, why limit it to my taste in political candidates? To make it easy, I offer below a host of opinions I hold that might deem me unworthy in your book, his book, or anyone else's:

My favorite pizza is anchovy and the crust has to be really thin.
I think Freddie Mercury had the best voice of any human who ever lived.
I find toenail polish classless and tacky.
I prefer Dijon mustard.
Rachel Maddow has less value than chewed gum stuck to the sole of my shoe.
I never eat ketchup and think anyone who does is moronic.
George Harrison is my favorite Beatle.
I think Hillary Clinton is a horrid, wrinkly bag of lying hot air.
I believe abortion should be legal but I also think it is murder.
My favorite colors are gray and yellow.
I hate the ballet and find opera boring.
Coffee should be black or else it is another drink.
I am a pacifist and think nobody should join the military.
I believe the next life is better than this one.
I love George W. Bush and Mitt Romney.
I think summer is the worst season.



2 comments:

  1. it's so sad to see what you have become - a pacifist who loves george bush- that is probably the funniest thing you have said in a long time-

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous: So good to hear from you again. I see you are still a coward who refuses to sign your name.

      One can LOVE a person and not agree with all of the decisions made by that person. For example, I love my husband but do not agree with his choice to eat red meat. The fact that he is carnivorous and I am by nature vegetarian doe not make me dislike his entire being.

      I hope that concept is not too deep or profound for you to grasp.

      Consequently, I can HATE Barack Obama and that does not make me a racist. I can be selective. See?

      Try it sometime, if you can figure out how.

      Delete

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