What the Democrats Think Romney Thinks

I am rich and handsome and have led a charmed life. The only thing left for me is to be President of the United States. My platform will be to kill all the old people, starve all the poor, stop paying teachers a living wage and deny health insurance to anyone who makes less than a million dollars a year. I hate all Jews and black people, and will make sure that no more foreigners enter the country except the ones I want to cut my lawn and clean my toilets. Gay people cannot marry and in fact, homosexuality is disgusting and should be illegal. Everyone who wants one should have a gun and shooting at the least provocation will not only be tolerated but expected. Birth control is sacrilegious and no abortions will be allowed under any circumstances. The only people who will pay taxes will be those who cannot afford it, and all the rich people, like me, will never pay a dime.

Gosh, I hope I win!