Another Medical Mystery

Medicine certainly has come a long way, what with artificial knees and hips and hearts, and liver and kidney and hand and face transplants and incredible cures for horrendous, once debilitating conditions. But still, if you just don't feel right and you go to your doctor, he or she often has no idea what's wrong with you and isn't above admitting it right from the get-go. This happened to me a few weeks ago.

I had gone to my internist with a minor complaint about a teeny problem that delicacy prevents me from delving into too deeply, but let's just say it falls under the category of "female complaints." After an examination and a clean bill of health, not surprisingly my symptoms remained--after all, one does not always feel better just because one is told one is better. I admitted as much to the doctor, who said what the heck--insurance pays for it anyway--let's just order up some lab tests. And with a flourish of her rubber-gloved hand, a swab of my DNA was sent packing to the nearest lab.

One week later the doctor's office called and said that lo and behold, I did have a teeny infection after all, some sort of bacterial thing, and an antibiotic was in order. I rejected the first two prescribed choices--one for fear of death and the other fear of disgust--but I had to accept the third one or risk a giant red flag on my medical chart, so the third one it was. This pill, a huge, turquoise-colored capsule that could choke the proverbial horse, made me feel sick, crampy and out of sorts after just three doses, not to mention the fact that it said on the bottle: "Do not lie down for at least 10 minutes after taking this drug." I did not want to know why. I chucked the bottle and called the doc.

After two days of phone tag, the nurse called me back and said they wanted to schedule me for an ultrasound x-ray and a follow-up appointment with a specialist.
     "Hold on there---how serious is this infection I have?"
     "It's nothing really, not bad at all--in fact most women have a little of it in their system all the time. But to be on the safe side, the doctor suggests you  have further testing."

Those lab tests sure are popular, and what's not to love: The doctors get to charge for them, the insurance company pays, they're free to the patient and the labs benefit too! Who needs Obamacare anyway?