Pointless Political Analysis

Note the missing lips.

There are so many things I would not want to do for a living that it's impossible to list them all. But the top ten are easy: Soldier, beekeeper, prison guard, tax accountant, jockey, dog catcher, gynecologist, professional athlete, ballerina and politician. If I had to be any of them, I guess I would--except for the last. It seems to me that being a politician is about the worst job in the world.

Let's take a closer look: You have no privacy. You have total strangers dissecting every aspect of how you look, how you behave, who you are married to, and even how much you pay in taxes. The media whores -- dammit, I did it again, I mean hordes -- eat you for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Imagine having the likes of Gloria Borger and James Carville ripping you to shreds on CNN! Or worse, Rachel Maddow and Chris Matthews! It sucks, plain and simple. So who wants such a job? The power-hungry, the insecure, and the bossy, obnoxious know-it-alls. That's who we get to choose from at election time; no wonder it's so tough.

Once you grok that the choices are limited to the imperfect, it's easier to relax and enjoy the show. Last night I watched a bit of the Republicans Trumpeting in Tampa, and it was appalling and amusing at the same time. Mike Huckabee, who was once fat and then lost a lot of weight when he ran for and didn't get the nomination four years ago is fat again. I also am pretty sure his eyebrows are painted on. Anyway, he didn't do the party any favors with his fire and brimstone, evoking God and the big A and all. He comes off like a circus barker and I am guessing he is in it for the power. Also saw Condoleezza Rice, and I wondered why she has never fixed that gap in her teeth and also why her name has two Zs when one would suffice. Anyway, she is definitely black and definitely female, so there goes the argument that the Republicans are bigots who are at war with women.

Next came Paul Ryan, the actual nominee for Veep, and he looked like a kid who had gotten lost on his way to a Boy Scout meeting. "Golly gee, let's win this thing, we can do better," seemed to be his message, a combination of insecurity and bossy know-it-allness. The most fascinating thing about him is the fact that when he smiles or frowns, his lips disappear entirely and turn into a line on his face. (See photo.) I wonder what that means. Must watch CNN to find out.