Valentine's Day is another totally meaningless holiday, and it's bearing down on us right now. Beginning in kindergarten, when the teacher forced you to give everyone in your class a handmade card professing you like them or love them even if you hated them, the charade continued through 6th grade. All grown up, you eventually learn that love happens-- or not-- on any day of any month, and should be expressed all year round: Nothing is special about February 14 except for all the florists. Common wisdom says to get your spouse a gift or you'll be in hot water. Jewelry is suggested, as are perfume, candy and red underwear. Here's a tip for you men: Steer clear of stuffed animals sold in drugstores as a last-ditch effort; better to go home empty-handed. (Ask Mitch.)
There is no Easter Bunny. Ditto Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Martin Luther King Day is completely devoid of anything except the opportunity to miss work and watch old footage of the "I have a dream speech." The birthdays of Presidents Lincoln and Washington are now lumped together into one big White Sale. Halloween, once a true pagan holiday, now means supermarket candy, flammable costumes and dentists reaping the benefits. The pilgrims did not even eat turkey when they landed on Plymouth Rock. St. Patty's Day is for getting drunk on green beer.
People, I ask you: What are we all doing? I do not want to appear cynical, just realistic and not dumb. But honestly, can't we do away with a few of these manufactured group celebrations and choose our own days and our own ways to celebrate living, without a discount at the mall?
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