Saturday, October 29, 2016

Boo, I'm Scared

Admit it: This year, Election Day promises to be scarier than Halloween. On November 8 Americans will choose their next leader, after which things can only get scarier no matter which crazed lunatic wins. Yes, you heard me. Want proof? Let's recap:

Hillary is a serial liar, unable to separate truth from fiction. A string of scandals darkens her past, making her deeply mistrusted by almost everyone. Her closest confidant, right-hand person, bosom buddy and the vice-chair of her 2016 campaign is a woman thirty years her junior named Huma Mahmood Abedin, an odd choice at best. Huma was born in America but lived in Saudi Arabia from the age of two until her college years, during which she was the associate editor of the Journal of Muslim Minority Affairs. (Hey, we report, you decide.) She is still married to a disgusting sexual pervert who texts pictures of his erect penis to young girls, the very penis used to father their child. Meanwhile, Hillary's husband is the accused rapist and lifelong philanderer Bill Clinton. The two of them have earned billions together in all sorts of questionable ways and continue their faux-charity-marriage-business, by all accounts never sleeping under the same roof at any of their mansions. Hillary is 69 years old and not in great health. (On Coumadin for life.)

Her opponent Donald Trump is a blunt, immature, vulgar businessman who has made millions by cheating the system at every turn. A former reality TV star, he seems intent on winning the White House to further enlarge his legend rather than to help anyone else. Trump, like every politician I have ever heard of, lies whenever it's convenient, then denies he ever said it. He is widely known for his adolescent sexual proclivities and out-sized lust. Donald is 70 years old and seems robust but is quite overweight and could likely keel over any minute.

This Halloween I am definitely keeping the porch light off.

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