The Rise of the Monster Party

Knowing he can't win I have decided to vote for Donald Trump, if only to separate myself from the pack of feral wolves vociferously tearing at his flesh, despite the fact that his adorable 10-year-old son sees and hears all. And despite the fact that Donald really isn't very bad when compared to the sins of every past womanizing president, the worst of course being Bill Clinton who is poised to once again chase women around the hallowed halls of the White House, with JFK, FDR, and Thomas Jefferson (father of six children with Sally Hemings, one of his slaves at Monticello) vying for second place. And don't get me started on that hallowed drunkard Senator Ted Kennedy, who full-out killed a young woman, leaving her in a watery grave for nine hours before telling anyone, yet he received only a two-month suspended jail sentence and was re-elected and treated as a wise Party Elder and virtual God by the Democrats until his alcohol-soaked body finally gave out.

Trump is now and has been for months relentlessly hounded by a hungry press desperate for any and every morsel of scandal. Packs of reporters from the once esteemed and now lowly New York Times are literally tasked with finding dirt on the man. This was admitted by the paper's Public Editor in last Sunday's paper who openly bemoans the fact that they didn't start their witch hunt sooner, allowing the competitive Washington Post to unearth more scum about Trump earlier in the season, but still boasts: "Using a SWAT team of investigative reporters, the Times this year has gone after both Trump and his emissaries." (Just think about it: a SWAT team of reporters!)

Written in 1948, Shirley Jackson's seminal short story, "The Lottery" tackles the very phenomenon we see playing out today. The citizens of a small town in middle America select one person each year to stone to death in a public square. It is literally stunning in its spot-on depiction of that age-old topic: Man's Inhumanity to Man. This year the winning ticket goes to Donald Trump, allowing every single Democrat and many Republicans to instantly feel better about him or herself simply by loudly declaring how despicable the man is. But let's all remember: He is a man and not a monster. The true monsters are those holier-than-thou members of the media who have apparently created their own very powerful political party.