Tuesday, February 16, 2016

What's New, P***ycat?

If I am talking about my adorable kitty, Lurch, I might want to describe him as "a little pussy with a big heart." I think that is allowed. But if I am talking about Ted Cruz, I have to say he is a p***y, which he may or may not be, but still I have to write it that way because suddenly the normal word "pussy" is no longer acceptable, not even in print. Despite the fact that I have never used it to refer to a vagina, my own or anyone's, it's now a BAD WORD, joining PRICK and DICK and you know the rest (although this being a man's world, you can get away with saying prick and dick).

That's all the sex stuff, which is sort of understandable what with Protestants and Episcopalians around every corner.  But even worse are all those regular words that have nothing to do with genitalia but are in the doghouse anyway. For example, if I want to talk about the fact that linseed oil retards the drying of my oil paints, I cannot say, "The drying process is greatly retarded by the addition of linseed oil" without raising a few eyebrows. That's retarded, if you ask me. In fact, it's because the world is full of misguided souls who think the grunts coming from your mouth matter more than what you feel in your heart.

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