Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Thank God for the Mute Button

How stupid are we supposed to be? According to the advertising agencies responsible for the blizzard of commercials pounding us daily, the answer is "pretty." How else to explain what we see and hear? For example, almost every prescription drug ad has an unseen narrator listing the drug's horrible side effects while something distracting is going on visually, as if we won't hear all the dire possibilities if there's a woman with big boobs in a bikini or a couple salsa-dancing the night away. Okay, I get that. That doesn't bother me anymore, but what really irks me is when the voice says, "Don't take Trifoxin (or Zolexa or Bifurkin or Domeldar) if you are allergic to Trifoxin (or Zolexa or Bifurkin or Domeldar)." Thanks for that tip, because as you suspect I'm a complete moron and I might take the stuff even if I'm allergic to it.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch with tongue and eyes.
Then there are the cartoon bears selling toilet paper. Certainly we all know that bears do indeed shit in the woods, but have you ever, on any camping trip, found evidence that they use toilet paper of any type, specifically Charmin? And have you ever seen a red bear or a blue bear? No.

In the world of commercial advertising, everything and anything can talk: Almonds, beer cans, bowls of cereal, the cereal itself (see photo), pizzas, cats, dogs and babies. And every happy couple is interracial. And every happy family is interracial. That would be nice, and I guess we are headed in that direction, but it's simply not true today. (In my whole life I have known two.) It's offensive and annoying to be treated like an idiot and yet be expected to buy a certain product. And if Marie Osmond doesn't shut up about those fifty pounds she lost like ten years ago I honestly don't know what I'll do. Maybe vote for Donald Trump, since I'm so dumb.


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