Friday, September 11, 2015

A Waste of Time Quiz

You know those quizzes that seem ubiquitous on the Internet lately, the ones that you do when you are at rock bottom and have absolutely nothing better to do, that tell you things you don't need to know about yourself, like "If You Were a Movie What Genre Would You Be?" or "In What Century Should You Really Have Been Born?" Well, I've always been amazed at how wrong they are, so I've taken a couple of them over again with different responses, and guess what? The answer turned out to be the same the second time too.

That got me thinking, if they can do it I can too, and so after much work, I have come up with my own Waste of Time Quiz and present it to you here. Simply choose one answer from each of the following groups of questions to find out "What Disease Would You Be on Another Planet?"

1. On a Friday night after a tough work week, your favorite way to unwind is:
a. Use my Shopvac
b. Stand on a bridge overpass and drop rocks on passing cars
c. Listen to old Bing Crosby records

2. Your best friend dies in a plane crash and you're asked to present the eulogy. You say:
a. "I never liked that bitch anyway, I'm glad she's gone."
b. "I would but I'm having all my wisdom teeth pulled that day."
c.  "I may have other plans, can I get back to you?"

3. There's a big snowstorm coming and you need to prepare for days without power. You lay in a supply of:
a. Jumbo marshmallows
b. Latex gloves
c. Calamine lotion and cotton balls

4. Your neighbors ask you to pick up their papers and water their flowers while they are away. You tell them:
a. "That is the funniest thing I have heard all week."
b. "Not if I can help it."
c. "I broke both my ankles and can't walk until the day you get home."

5. You win the 286 Million Dollar lottery! What's the first thing you do with the money?
a. Get an anchovy pizza with extra anchovies.
b. Give it all away in five dollar bills to people on the street.
c. Get a tummy tuck, face lift, nose job, breast implants, a Porsche, a Jaguar, a house in Laurel Canyon with an infinity edge swimming pool, a house in Provence with a grape orchard, several original Jackson Pollocks, a yacht, a sailboat with crew, a house facing the ocean in the Hamptons, box seats at Wrigley Field and a 22-room New York apartment at The Dakota.

Answer regardless of answers: You would be Lupus on Mars.

2 comments:

  1. Ha! I'm Lupus!
    Am I Lupine?
    :D Love it.

    --Tedinski

    ReplyDelete
  2. I chose carefully, sure I would get the bubonic plague on Pluto. But I guess we all end up on Mars. I should have known.

    ReplyDelete

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