Saturday, August 9, 2014

The Last Taboo

It's funny the things we take for granted. For example, all I want to do right now is go to the bathroom. I know that is an icky subject for a blog post, but that's where my head is currently at.

Once a private matter between two consenting adults, these days you can talk about anything at all having to do with sex--in fact, the weirder the better--but constipation remains a taboo subject nobody ever discusses. Oddly enough, according to my recent findings constipation is the number one physical ailment affecting all adults. Unless you count tinnitus, which is also the number one physical ailment affecting all adults. Same with nearsightedness and arthritis. (Apparently anything wrong with me is the number one problem affecting adults. How is that possible?)

I am not suggesting we all sit around discussing our bowel movements, believe me. I am simply saying that watching a video of a baby chasing its shadow or a cute kitty squeezing into a shoebox or any of the hundreds of thousands of inane videos posted online is not all that amusing when one is constipated, whereas it might be when all systems are go. And so the next time you tell a joke and don't get a laugh, consider this: Maybe the joke is really funny but the listener is constipated. That's all I'm saying.

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