A Catty Rant

How was she talked into leaving her house looking like that? Was she drunk? Is she on drugs? Was she promised a ton of money by the dress designer? Did the dress even have a legitimate designer or was it made by a gay friend trying to break into the fashion industry?? Is she remorseful now and considering suicide? Was she confused and thinking she was going to a Halloween party?

I did not watch the Academy Awards because A, I forgot they were on and B, I never saw any of the movies that were nominated and C, it's a stupid waste of time, but still I was forced to see photos from the event that made it into the mainstream media for days following the Hollywood ego-fest.

One picture stood out from all the rest, and was shown by every news outlet: Heidi Klum looking really bad in a dress that might have been made in my 8th-grade Home Economics class back in the 1960s.  Not only is the dress ridiculously hideous and ill-fitting, but it exposes some hard truths about the former supermodel: she's losing tone and has developed quite a tummy. 

I could go on but I've got things to do. 

(FYI, TODAY'S PAGE LAYOUT PAYS HOMAGE TO HEIDI'S DRESS!)