How Far Is Heaven

Driving home from CrossFit this morning I was listening to a talk radio show discussing the current situation in the Middle East. Only half-listening really, as I was still mulling over the words of a well-meaning friend I had seen at the gym: "Stay out of downtown Portland for awhile, you know, because of the anti-Jewish protests and a few crazy nuts around town right now." Immediately I wondered -- do I really look that Jewish? -- and checked my nose in the rear-view mirror. My ex-husband, not a Jew, always said that if I stopped using my hands so much when I talk that I could "pass for white." (Notice I said ex-husband.)

Anyway, my friend's warning was disturbing, as I had no idea that was anything to worry about in Maine, recently named "The Safest State in America." But then I started listening to what the people on the radio were saying, and it amounted to the same thing. A university professor said, "I won't say that anti-semitism is on the rise, but rather that it's returning. It never actually went away completely." 

Listen, I don't care if it's rising, falling, coming back or going sideways -- if it's here it's here. And I'm a Jew. So what should I do? Hide in the basement, or maybe the attic, and keep a diary like Anne Frank? Small point: my house doesn't have an attic. Besides, it's impossible to hide from something so huge, with several  members of our very own government -- kittenishly labeled "The Squad" -- blatantly denouncing all Jews on a daily basis and siding with the Palestinians in this brutal war.

In a perfect world everyone would be Jewish, or Jewish-like, meaning smart, thoughtful, kind, nurturing, well-read, educated, compassionate and most of all funny. But it's not a perfect world and if my being all those things bothers some unthinking clod who wants me dead, so be it. I'm pretty sure Heaven is full of Jews I can hang out with. 

Besides, I hardly ever go into downtown Portland.