Getting Rid of Yourself

Getting rid of a body -- be it your own or someone else's -- is almost always a costly affair, unless you are in the Mafia. Cremation is about $2,500, and a traditional burial can run to $10,000 depending on the quality of the casket and how fancy the lunch is afterwards. 

A brand new idea is "body composting," which is exactly what it sounds like and is also not cheap. (One could say it costs an arm and a leg but really it's all four limbs and the head and torso too.) A company in Colorado, one of only two states where the process of rotting a dead person is legal (the other is Oregon), charges $7,900 per corpse, so a lot more than just those veggies and egg shells rotting in your compost bin. 

This is very unfair to poor people who can barely afford to keep themselves alive, let alone take care of their dead, and it's probably just a matter of time before the Democrats start offering free burials to those in need. I say if you're strapped for cash, just load some big rocks in your jacket pocket like Virginia Woolf did and go for a swim.