Why Hillary Lost

Julie Christie today. Are the Russians responsible for this?

I'm pretty relieved to learn that the mess we're in these  days is not my fault, it's those damn Russians. They made me hate Hillary Clinton, and for all I know she doesn't even have cankles; that could just be a plot to make her look bad. (If so, it worked.)

Not that I wrote in John Kasich on my ballot last November because of Clinton's cankles -- no, not at all. I have a long list of reasons why Hillary sickens me, starting back in 1979 when I met her in D.C. at a meeting at the Children's Defense Fund. I was there as a graphic design consultant, and she was the wife of the Governor of Arkansas, and there were many, many other important people at that meeting but to Hillary it was all, "Me me, me!" or rather, "Her, her, her!" Plus she wore one of those stupid headbands and I hated those, always have. They're pointless, unless they're holding your brains in or your head will roll off without it, and also they give you a headache, or at least they gave me one. (I tried them a few times, so I know.)

Anyway, Hillary did plenty of things along the way to enlarge my disdain of her, and since all of you know what they are since nobody likes her, not even the Democrats who say they like her (which is why she lost twice, let's remember), I won't enumerate them here. But still, it's sort of a relief to know that I didn't put Trump in the White House, the Russians did and my hands are totally clean.

Actually, I've never even met a Russian, although I remember quite clearly weeping, possibly sobbing, during Doctor Zhivago, but that might have been because Julie Christie was so beautiful and I was jealous. But now all these years later she is no longer beautiful, which makes me even sadder because if she's turned into an old hag, how bad will I look at her age? (Ha, at least someone is older than me!)

So you see, this shows you how much I care that the Russians gave the president's son dirt on Hillary Clinton and he was all ears. I'm pretty sure that despite whatever they told Don Jr., Hillary lost the election on her own merits. Or is it demerits?