Same Time Next Year: Picture It

What's so great about Hillary again? I forget, if I ever knew. But somehow she is poised to become our next president, the first to actually use a product called Poise. Granted, I don't know this for a fact, but she seems like the type who would wet her pants when she cackles that horrible cackle, which explains all the pantsuits with the long jackets for extra coverage. (Hey, all you folks who wanted a female president: get used to it!)

Okay, admittedly that was a low blow. But many thinking folks believe Hillary deserves nothing higher. Yet the FBI head has determined that she was not criminal in her negligence, simply "extremely careless with the nation's secrets." He added, "any reasonable person" in her position should have known that "the sensitive material involved merited greater security." Which is better than being called a criminal for sure, but still, is carelessness a quality we want in our leader?  And how about reasonable? Having given up on honesty long ago, I still had my heart set on reasonable as one of the qualities of the person we put in charge of everything.

Admit it, the White House circa 2017 looks grim. Picture it: There's Hillary, peeing in her designer pants and forgetting where she put things, like her glasses and those darned top-secret documents about Iran's nuclear bombs, running round screaming "Where's my hot sauce?" (She apparently loves hot sauce and always has some with her, especially when she is going out for soul food with all of her black rapper friends.) Meanwhile, high on Viagra, doddering old Bill is on the loose, chasing some witless young intern up and down the halls of the West Wing and finally trapping her in the butler's pantry, while Chelsea, the two grandchildren and their toys are spread out in the Oval Office, the adorable toddlers smearing peanut butter all over the Presidential Seal rug.

There's certainly a dog and some half-chewed pig ears somewhere.